Here I am, 9 months pregnant, 36 weeks along, and waiting for baby to show up at any moment (at least that’s what the doc says). And let me tell you, it’s the latest in a long list of ways that this little child is challenging my idol worship!
I’m a planner, and so is Dan. We like to set our agendas for the week every Sunday night, comparing activities, planning new ones. I plan our meals 2 weeks in advance. Our vacations are always scheduled with few events left to be determined at the last minute. It’s just how we operate.
And of course, this sense of control is an idol of mine. And the fact that this baby could come at any minute or within the next couple of weeks is really freaking me out. I want to know when she’ll appear, so I can schedule other events in my life around it. And I want to know now!
But as friends have been kind enough to remind me, this is good preparation for having children, since our plans get overruled all the time. And I realize that pregnancy might just be God’s way of working on some idol issues before the children show up and stomp on them even more.
I’ve written before about how comfort is also an idol of mine. There’s not much comfortable about being 9 months pregnant in 80 degree summer heat. I travel with a fan in my purse and take it out all sorts of places, my favorite being the line at the grocery store. I use it in church too. And part of my impatience to get this kid out soon is that I’m ready to be more comfortable sleeping, eating, walking, and doing just about everything else.
But I’m guessing that once she shows up, I’m not going to be so comfortable anyway, with the needs of a newborn overruling my petty pampering desires. Not to mention sleep.
Another big idol issue is my brain. I’m sorry that I ever doubted the whole “baby brain” condition, as I’ve now experienced how much it changes one’s way of thinking. Blogging is a challenge. And don’t expect me to remember anything unless it’s written on a list. Even then, shopping at the grocery store and recalling all I need could be a comedic skit.
Women who claim that pregnancy is the best time of life, that they feel best when they’re pregnant, have got to be smoking something. But maybe they’re less obsessed with these particular idols.
I know that the whole “saved by childbirth” (1 Timothy 2:15) is a hot button topic that I don’t really want to get into. But if you consider our sanctification, becoming more like Christ, as part of the salvation experience, I think it makes a lot of sense. We as women can be sanctified by pregnancy and childbirth, if we recognize God’s work in us during this time and allow him to reveal our false idols and stomp all over them.
But it doesn’t make it easy.