It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted, a hiatus I hadn’t planned. If you haven’t been following my Twitter feed (at the bottom right of the site), you might not know that we’ve purchased our first home and have moved into it over the course of the past few weeks. So, needless to say, that being almost 8 months pregnant, I’ve been stretching the limits of my energy and stamina to accomplish all this.
But now that we’re settled in, amid a lot of boxes, I have a bit more time to write.
And if the home purchasing process isn’t great fodder for blogging, I don’t know what is. I’ve been reflecting on several elements of chaos in these past few weeks, and I hope to mull them over with you. Such a big event in anyone’s life, the purchase of a new home, is certainly worthy of a little thought and examination.
Today, I want to talk about vulnerability. It’s what happens when you have friends and family come to your home, once neatly assembled, to see the mid-moving wreckage. All your dirty corners are exposed. The cabinets tell the secrets.
Dan gets a world’s greatest husband award for hiring cleaners to work on our old apartment after we got our junk out of there. He took pity on the pregnant woman, who didn’t want to get on her hands and knees to scrub.
Before they started, I got to walk around the apartment with the cleaners, watching them run their hands over dusty sills, examine dingy window blinds, and peer into dark, foreboding cabinets. I wanted to explain saying, “This isn’t really my home, you should have seen it a year ago, before I got pregnant and life was under control.” But honestly, professional house cleaners would realize that the dust represented far more than one year’s accumulation.
And honestly, who am I really fooling? On the surface, I might have my act together, dressed up nice, a smile on my face. But deep down, in the dark hidden places, I hide my dirt and grime. And it’s there for anyone to see, if they know where to look. But especially, it’s there for God to see.
He’s the professional cleaner, the one who takes one look at me and knows all. But his job is also to fix that mess. Why try to hide the mess from him, when I want all those dark places exposed to his cleansing work?
If I don’t come to terms with the grime, I’m never going to fully offer it up to the one who can fix it. It’s just going to stay there and fester, making the cleansing a little more involved and painful in the long run.
What’s hiding in your dirty cupboards and hidden places? Are you willing to shine the light on it?
But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,
“Awake, O sleeper,
and arise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”