Today’s book review is a little unusual for me. Multnomah Publishers offered me the opportunity to review this book, and I was struck by how this could be an important book, because it addresses a topic with which most women can relate. So, this week, I’m reviewing a Christian sex book (and no, that isn’t an oxymoron).
Kiss me Again: Restoring Lost Intimacy in Marriage, isn’t exactly what the title leads you to believe. It’s more of a book about digging through your past sexual sins and those committed against you, so that today, you can have a better love life with your spouse. Ninety percent of the book is focused on looking to the past to heal the future.
Personally, I was hoping for a few more “how to” tips for today, that weren’t so focused on past sexual sins. But Barbara Wilson won me over to the importance of dealing with the past before you even have hope in the present and future. As someone who has worked with many couples as director of sexual health education for a pregnancy resource center, she’s knowledgeable on the research she cites as well as with personal stories of those who have found this information life changing. The statistic that caught my attention the most was that 95% of people will have sex before they get married, Christian or not (5). It shows that pre-marital sexual issues are in the majority, so it’s wise to deal with something so overwhelmingly prevalent.
Wilson deals with a full range of sexual addictions and experiences that can interfere with your healthy, married love life (and she also does a good job showing what a healthy love life might look like). The book is highly targeted to women, so you’ll find info on pornography use by women (this needed a bit more info, since it’s such a huge issue today), shacking up, and even abuse. She’s big on wives confessing all to their husbands, openly, and in the right context and timing. And Wilson encourages a lot of guided, reflective journaling to help you work through the past issues and find healing in Christ.
I appreciated the research minded approach (even if she went a little overboard with attributing most problems to oxytocin issues). She comes across as very trustworthy, someone who knows this topic through and through. And while I’m of the impression that meeting one-on-one with a professional Christian counselor is the best way to address these issues, this book might be a second best step, for those who don’t want to see a professional for help.
What I come away with most from this book is an amazing sense of hope for our marriages. We have Jesus, the healer, the redeemer, the savior, to help us have the marriages he wants for us. He doesn’t want us burdened by past sin that corrupts our marriages. He’s for our marriages, for healthy marriage beds and minds free from guilt and shame. And it’s comforting to know that no matter our past mistakes, he’s here to make our futures bright.
Thanks to the folks at Multnomah/Random House Publishers for providing me with a review copy of this book. Visit the publisher’s website to learn more about the book.