Obviously, I’ve since thought better of it, but at the time, it was a clever way to alert him to the fact that I’d cut my hair. You know men-they’ll never notice that you cut your hair. You’d have to lop your whole head off, then they might say, “Gee, is something different hon?”
In hindsight, perhaps a simple e-mail to his work account would have done the trick. But no, I placed 11 inches of my pony tail by the front door, like some sadistic kidnapper might do, as an indication that he was going to chop me up, piece by piece until he got his money. Okay, maybe that’s not what everyone would think, but I probably would.
What precipitated me hacking off 11 inches of my hair? Basically, I was sick of it getting in my way. It also took forever to wash and groom. There inevitably comes a point where I can’t take it anymore and I proclaim, “Off with it all!” Then, I dignify the act by donating it all to charity. Locks of Love is the one that I’ve been donating to for several years now.
This time around, I hadn’t planned on going so extreme, but I’d read that Locks of Love got more picky about the donation requirements. I needed to donate at least 10 inches for them to make a wig out of it. So, I gathered my hair into a ponytail, got out a ruler to make sure I was cutting enough, gritted my teeth, and chopped it off.
I hadn’t thought much past that point. Once I cut it, I realized I had some pretty funky looking hair to deal with. I suppose I’d just thought I’d have a shorter version of my previous “do,” but when you take off that much, you get a whole new style altogether.
So, I did a little snipping here and there and came out with this. I don’t think SuperCuts will be hiring me anytime soon, but it looks fairly intentional, like someone might have wanted to get that cut. But, I also alternate between calling it “helmet head” and “mullet gone wrong.”
Dan has offered to pay for me to go to the salon to “get it fixed.” I’m not sure if he’s just being supportive or if he’s subtly hinting that I look like a 1970s reject with a bad barber. For now, I’m going to let it grow out for a little bit, apply hair goop to it, and curl it to make it behave. The way I figure, with hair growing an average of half an inch a month, I only have to wait about two years to get it back to where it was before.