Wiiitis

After months of patiently waiting to be in the right place at the right time, wii finally managed to snag ourselves our very own Nintendo Wii.  If you don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, I suggest that you watch this highly informative commercial, which will enlighten you about the virtual insanity of Wii.

Dan was the driving force behind this purchase.  He’s been saving up all his birthday money for awhile, just for this occasion.  I was largely uniformed about the world of Wii, except for the commercials and the occasional e-mail forwards that Dan would send my way (yes, honey, I got the hint).  Now that I am among the initiated, let me give you the insiders scoop, or at least my own humble experience of it.

At the store, people were staring at the pile of Wii boxes, amazed to see a stack of them in one place, at one time.  Apparently, this is a rare occurrence, one worthy of a moment of silence.  Dan and I paid our respects, then wii had the audacity to interrupt and actually steal one from the revered pile. 

After Dan managed to set it up on our 15-year-old TV (the irony wasn’t lost on us), wii grasped our baton like controllers and pointed them at the screen, waiting for something to happen.  Mine started vibrating at me and playing music.  I almost dropped it, out of shock.  “Aack!  It’s moving!” I yelped. 

The Wii prompted us to create virtual cartoon identities for ourselves.  Wii created a tall and lanky guy with tired looking eyes for Dan, a joke for all his on call nights at the hospital. For me, wii designed a gal with hazel eyes and my hairstyle.  We argued a bit about the nose shape, but other than that, wii were pretty satisfied with my facsimile. 

Soon, our virtual representations were battling against each other in a tennis match.  As in real life, my backhand suffers on the Nintendo court as well.  Dan did amazingly well, and much to my chagrin, he skunked me.  This goes against all our real life experiences playing tennis, especially the one from our first date (remind me to tell you the story sometime).  However, I was astounded by how seemingly realistic it was.  I’d swing the controller, and on impact, it would vibrate.  I could do all my typical tennis strokes, even with a little topspin if I wanted to be tricky. 

After tennis, wii challenged each other at baseball, boxing, bowling, golf, billiards, ping pong, fishing, and shooting.  Hours passed, and it was as if time had stopped.  Dan summed it up best when he said, “This stuff is like crack!” 

The next morning, wii both woke up feeling a little sore.  My left arm was a bit tender, and Dan’s right shoulder felt a little strained.  It wasn’t until wii once again picked up the controllers that wii realized what plagued us.  It was the curse of the Wii!  We suffered from a relatively new disease called “Wiiitis,” listed in the June 7 issue of the New England Journal of Medicine as “acute tendonitis” brought on by the prolonged use of the Nintendo Wii.  The author of this article, Julio Bonis, M.D., recommends the following treatment protocol:  “ibuprofen for 1 week, as well as complete abstinence from playing Wii video games.”

Although Wii abstinence won’t be our first line of therapy, wii probably should keep our Wii habits in check.  Too much of a good thing can really hurt you! 

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Published in: on June 25, 2007 at 12:47 pm  Leave a Comment  

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