A Kick in the “You Know What”

Last Sunday, our campus pastor told us about Billy Graham’s greatest regret. Billy Graham, a modern day hero of the faith has one main regret in life. Do you know what it is? He wishes he would have studied and memorized more scripture. You know, it must be important if the guy who is arguably the most famous Christian next to, well Jesus, says so. As my pastor said, “Billy freaking GRAHAM!”

Is someone trying to tell me something?

So the Bible memorizing has been going a little slowly. That’s an understatement. In fact, I’ve probably learned a grand total of 5 verses since my surgery, and even then, I don’t think I have them down very well.
I’m still in James, chapter 1, and today, I’m memorizing verse 20 because I’ve been dragging my feet far too long on this.

With all evidence to the contrary, I’d convinced myself that it wasn’t worth so much effort. Here’s my pathetic ist of excuses, each of which I’ve alternated using for the past several weeks:

1. It’s hard
2. It takes time
3. I’m horrible at memorizing things
4. It’s boring
5. I’ve got better things to do

As if the Billy Graham comment wasn’t enough. My pastor went on to knock down all of my excuses with one recommendation. He told us, and I’ll paraphrase this a bit, “If you don’t want to read the Bible (or in my case memorize it), pray for the desire to do it.”

So, basically, if we don’t want to study the Bible, if the desire isn’t there, it’s not because the Bible isn’t worth
it. It’s because we’ve got priority and taste issues we’ve got to let God fix for us.

Now I have a new way to pray for my Bible study and memorization. In addition to my regular, “God, please help this stick,” I’m adding, “Please help me want to do this and enjoy it too.”

I usually ask God to help me out with the nuts and bolts of the process, but now, I need to have him work on my attitude and my desires. Hmm, that might just apply to every other struggle I have in life.

We Testify

I love hearing people’s stories about how God has worked in their lives. Even more, I love encouraging them to tell those stories and helping them find ways to share them. I guess it’s the writing teacher coming out.

I’ve long envisioned an online place where people could share their stories, and not finding anything that quite fit the bill, I decided to create it on my own. It’s a blog that I’ve been assembling over the past several months, and now it’s ready to share.

I have no idea how many people, if any, will be interested in sharing their stories, but I thought it was worth the time and effort on my part. It’s a risk. And this year, I’m all about taking some risks, if there’s a chance that God can be glorified.

So, if you have a story to share about God’s work in your life, how he’s showed you his love in a particular way, albeit small or large, feel free to share it on the site. The site’s looking pretty bare, and it just needs some people willing to step forward to talk about what Jesus has done in their lives. Will you be the first to share?

Click here to visit We Testify’s homepage
Click here to learn more about how to submit your stories
Click here to read the site’s mission statement
Click here to learn about the different types of testimony stories you can share

Asking for Help Leads to Relationship

This past year has been a season of growth for me, devoted to learning to ask for help from God and others. I didn’t start the year with this lesson plan, but God, in his infinite wisdom, decided it was something I needed to learn. For example, here, here, here, and here.

Last weekend, I discovered yet another reason why I need to ask others for help, and this time, it finally didn’t have to do with me. Ironically, when you ask others for help, you end up helping them. Why in the world didn’t I realize this before?

I’ll rewind a couple of weeks back to when I wasn’t as far in my recovery process, and I couldn’t carry much weight (my sutures would rip). I was headed on a car trip to see my family, and I’d changed from my winter tires to my summer ones. But the winter ones were taking up all the space in my little Ford Focus. There wasn’t room for my junk stuff that I was hauling up north for the weekend. Dan was working on-call at the hospital and wouldn’t be home for at least another day, and I needed a way to get the mounted tires out of the car.

I stood in the garage, scratching my head, when my neighbor drove up. Sheepishly, I wandered over and asked if he’d mind helping me haul the tires out of the car. I felt like the maiden in distress in the old western movies. He came right over and stacked the tires in the garage. No problem. I felt so guilty, asking him, someone I hardly knew, to do me such a big favor. But, he didn’t seem to mind at all.

Fast forward to last weekend. It was record breaking heat. I was out washing my car, taking an agonizingly long time to do it, since I hadn’t washed it since my surgery, and it was hard to tell what color it was anymore. My neighbor was in his garage tinkering with a car he’s restoring.

He walked over and asked if I’d mind helping him with something. No problem! He wanted me to stand on the back of a hydraulic engine hoist (something I knew a bit about thanks to my dad), while he lifted the motor out of the car (a ‘68 Austin Healy). I was keeping it balanced. I joked with him about being as heavy as the motor. It took awhile, but as I stood there, we chatted about his car and his work, and I got to know him a lot better.

I don’t think he’d ever had asked me if I didn’t do the maiden in distress routine several weeks ago. It formed a connection between us. I also owed him one, and I was happy to be in his debt.

Now that we’ve had this neighborly exchange, I feel much better about going downstairs to borrow a power tool or to ask his advice about fixing something (he’s a Mr. Fixit.). I hope that he’ll feel much more open to asking me for help too.

My Easy-Bake God

I caught myself worshiping an Easy-Bake oven today. Perhaps that needs some explanation.

Easy-Bake ovens have been around for years. I had one. My mom had one. The principle is simple. Follow the directions on the packet of Easy-Bake ingredients, pour it into the Easy-Bake pan, shove it in the Easy-Bake hole with the Easy-Bake stick, and watch a 75 watt light bulb do the cooking for you. After way longer than today’s child’s patience can handle, say, a whole 30 minutes, your lumpy, doughy cake emerges. Then, you get to feed it to your parents, who gleefully accept it and promptly hide it in the nearest potted plant.

Maybe these aren’t as popular as they were when I was a kid. After all, today’s girls aren’t getting trained in domesticity as much. For playtime, they get Insurance Adjuster Barbie and CEO dress up clothes.

It’s idiot proof cooking, provided you follow all the instructions. Even then, it’s hard to mess it up. Each recipe has 2 ingredients: the mix and water (but sometimes, dirt or fingernail polish might be substituted in a pinch…it turns out about the same).

I caught myself treating God like my old Easy-Bake Oven. I wanted something: to get a specific book published. I lined up all the required ingredients, the ones that I’d read about. I prepared them exactly as directed and shoved them in the oven, expecting my perfect product to come out in the end. Instead, I didn’t get my book published. I’m still working on it, and my Easy-Bake God didn’t work it out for me.

“Why can’t it just be easy?” I found myself asking Him.

God chose to respond by reminding me of my little oven and its crappy cakes. I don’t want a God who works like that. Not only does the product stink, the process gets old in a hurry. You can only Easy Bake for so long; then you grow up and want an Electrolux.

God’s not going to do what I want, just because I found out the winning combination of words and actions. He’s not a kitchen appliance. He’s a father, who listens to his child, but he doesn’t give her every single little thing she asks for. And even if He does, the child often has to work hard for it.

So, when I next catch myself wanting this whole process to be easy, I’ll remember how awful those little cakes tasted, and look forward to savoring the sweet taste of success, God’s way.

Seeing Christ in Caspian

I just got back from watching Prince Caspian at the theater, after having completed reading the book the night before with my husband.  We sat up late finishing reading it out loud to each other.  

There are plenty of reviews out there, good ones, and I won’t try to repeat what’s already being said about the movie.  I will say that yes, it’s not exactly true to the book, but I’m not a purist in the book to movie realm, since I realize that they’re different genres and need some tweaking to work on the silver screen.  

Several reviewers are critiquing the film for removing the Christian elements, or hiding them too much from being evident, thus distorting Lewis’ message in the books. Perhaps this is true, but I’d like to draw out some of the remaining Christian themes, at least the ones that are speaking to me, even after I’ve left the theater.

• Rely on Jesus’ strength, not just your own

Many battles are waged in the film, more than are written in the book, and a clear theme emerges:  when you use Aslan’s strength, you win the fight.  But when you rely on your own cleverness and strength alone, you’re destined to fail.

• Follow Jesus, even when it’s not popular

This theme emerges on several levels, from the underdog Narnians who hold out for Aslan, even though he’s been gone for 1300 years, to the faithful Lucy, who follows Aslan, despite everyone else’s doubts.  Aslan rewards his faithful, and Jesus will reward his persecuted, unpopular, faithful children as well.  

• The longer you walk with Jesus, the bigger he gets

I love this line from the book, which thankfully stayed in the movie.  Lucy exclaims that Aslan is larger than before, and Aslan tells her that as she gets older, he will seem bigger.  This is true for us as well.  The longer we have a relationship with Jesus, the more wondrous he becomes.  We understand him more, and we grasp a little more of his greatness.  It reminds me of the old saying about church steeples and what they represent.  Just like a steeple gets pointer as it climbs toward heaven, so we Christians get smaller, the closer we get to God.  I think the Aslan comment partly reflects the fact that we recognize that Jesus gets bigger but also that we grow a little smaller, more humble as we know him more.

There is no Condemnation

Dan and I had a great trip to the Oregon seacoast. It was refreshing to enjoy the ocean view and breathe the salty sea air (Having a hottub in our room certainly helped too). But, like all good things, there can be too much of it.  

We found a restaurant a mile down the beach from our hotel that fed our seafood cravings and our tightwad tendencies.  Mo’s is a famous Oregon seacoast staple, known especially for its fabulous clam chowder, which is hands down the best I’ve ever had.  So, every night, we walked down the beach, gorged ourselves on seafood, and walked back, thinking that the mile back would justify eating all those butter soaked clams.  

Then, there was the hiking.  Not only did we hike for over 3 miles around Ecola state park, we walked a few additional miles each day, exploring the town and back and forth to our fish fest.  We purposefully chose a dinky town for relaxation, but like usual, we saw everything there was to see and spent all our energy, plus some, doing it.

I also did some swimming in the hotel’s pool in my insane attempt at “wellness,” something my friends from Switzerland had been telling me about.  Basically, it’s the bizarre Scandinavian ritual of sweating it out in a hot sauna then plunging in a cold pool.  Call me crazy, but I thought this was a recipe for a coronary. But those crazy northerners think it draws the toxins out of the skin.  So, I read for awhile in the sauna until I felt hot and slimy, and then I dunked in the icy pool.  Dan said I got bright red like a cooked lobster.  I did this masochistic cycle a couple times and declared myself purified.  Or something like that.  Dan just watched, amused.

As you can imagine, I came back needing a vacation from my vacation.  I went way too crazy with the food and had to go back to the baby food and liquid diet for a couple days to get back on track with my healing process.  My body didn’t like all that walking, and it refused to do much more when I got home. Realistically, I got set back a few weeks on my recovery time.  

Last weekend, when we got back, I was really beating myself up about overdoing it.  There’s nothing like eating pureed green beans out of a glass jar to make you feel low.  But I’ve been reflecting on a verse the past couple weeks, trying to take it to heart when I start berating myself for the unfolded pile of laundry sitting in the middle of the living room, or the stack of dishes waiting to be washed, or the ever-growing stack of magazines on our coffee table, or the fact that I haven’t finished memorizing the first chapter of James yet. 

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

I’m not perfect.  I’m going to mess up.  But I’ve got a Savior who loves me and accepts me just the same.  

 But I’d really like to be done with the baby food, and I’m annoyed with myself for overdoing it so much.

And yet, there is no condemnation for me because Jesus loves me and forgives me for overdoing it by being a seafood splurging, nature galavanting, “wellness” experimenting, DUMMY.

Happy Bloggy Birthday to Me!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Okay, so it’s not technically my real birthday (but it’s June 10 for those of you who keep track of those sorts of things). More importantly, it’s my bloggy birthday (which I’m not sure is a real term, but I like the sound of it. Shakespeare made words; why can’t I?).

As of today, it’s been one full year since I began this blog with this not so wonderful post. I wrote about something I’d noticed in my Bible reading, and I thought about how it applied to culture, but it had nothing to do with me (or I didn’t make it very clear, at least).

Then I posted this, about a trip to the store and something I noticed about the haircare products I was buying for my husband. I connected it with the truth I knew from the bible, and made a personal statement about what I learned from the experience. And Kapow! I hit on something.

Here’s the key difference: one was personal, one was impersonal. one was preachy, one was reflective.

I wasn’t exactly getting comments yet, but on the home front, my friends were giving me tons of positive feedback. I think I’d finally found my niche, well, or something close to it.

Over this past year, I’ve tried to express my authentic experiences and how God is teaching me through them. For better or worse, you’ve followed me through my trials and tribulations, as I stumble along the path to the Celestial City (see Pilgrim’s Progress for the reference). But, I hope that through it all, you’ve found someone who is real and approachable, learning to be more like Christ each day. Even though I screw up all the time.

I never expected all the wonderful things that would take place as a result of this blog. I’ve met some great new friends, all of whom I can’t list right now, but I’d especially like to mention Heidi, Jill, Jen, Midnight Run, and ~M, who came to visit me a couple weeks ago in Seattle, for a wonderful time of fellowship and fun in the city.

I also got some publicity for doing this that I never quite expected. People have been reading my blog from all over the place, and I’m getting e-mails from countries around the globe. But one of the most memorable was one from my hometown, from a reporter from the Seattle Times who had read this post on the Seattle Blackout babies. She interviewed me and quoted me in her front page story in the Times, giving me lots of great promotion for the blog.

So thanks everyone for all your wonderful comments and encouragement this past year. I’ve learned a lot and grown a great deal as a writer and a follower of Christ. I can’t wait to see what this next year of blogging brings.

Enjoying God’s Artwork

Dan and I have stepped away for a little rest and relaxation, to the Oregon seacoast.  This iconic rock should give many of you a hint about where we’re vacationing.

Yes, this week, we’re staying in Cannon Beach, Oregon, so I’ll be neglecting my blogging for awhile in favor of hiking, beachcombing, and marriage building.  Today, we visited Ecola State Park, where we experienced a great deal of God’s wondrous creation. 

I was strong enough to go on a 3 mile hike with my husband, and we were rewarded with breathtaking scenery and stunning ocean views.   

Our God is an incredible artist!